Kerry Washington hosted the 2014 Allstate Foundation's Purple Purse Program and was spotted showcasing one of her purple purses she designed herself specifically for domestic violence awareness. I have gained a new respect for her. I think domestic violence awareness is so important. It takes a lot to realize you are a victim of domestic violence and to get out of it. I used to be one of those women who said that if I ever got involved in a violent abusive relationship, I would leave right away and I couldn't understand why women didn't realize they were in these types of relationships and why they wouldn't leave. It wasn't until I became a victim of domestic violence and after I finally got out of the relationship that I understood,
I was involved in an abusive relationship where I was blinded by love. I was so inlove and felt like I couldn't live without him that I dismissed the abuse. I blamed it on his drug abuse and also thought it was my fault for doing things and saying things that got him angry. And on top of that, he was lying to me, cheating on me, using me, and stealing from me. Although I had my suspicions, I didn't find out the truth until after I had left him.
One day it got really bad. The previous night it finally had seemed like our relationship was finally taking a big turn for the better. He went over to his friend's house and didn't come home until like 2:00 p.m. the next day. We shared my car- well it was basically his car because he always had it and controlled everything. I missed my shift at work and couldn't get a hold of him. He didn't even act like he was really sorry when he finally made it home, which really upset me. Then he took my phone and read the text messages I had sent to a friend of mine venting. He turned into Mr. Hyde to the extreme throwing glass & iron end tables at my head, destroying the kitchen, and throwing the dining table into the wall. He was yelling at me and saying he was going to kill me (wasn't the first time he almost killed me) and when I tried to get out of the apartment, he flipped me over the recliner and pinned me down to the ground. I had bruises all over my body. He cocked his arm back with his hand balled up in a fist ready to punch me but didn't. Then he went to the kitchen and got a knife and said he was going to kill himself because of me. I begged him not to, screaming and crying, and then he locked me in our bedroom. He also broke my phone and when he called my Mom telling her it was over and that he wouldn't let her talk to me, I screamed into the phone, "Mommy he is going to kill meeeee!!!" Then he broke his phone. My Sister, who heard my screaming through the phone had called the police. When they answered the door, he acted like the screaming was from us having sex. The officers didn't by it. They separated us and I tried to act like I was ok. I even distracted myself by saying I had to look for our kittens and make sure they hadn't ran into the hallway outside the door. The officer didn't believe me and tried to talk some sense into me but I wouldn't press charges, I don't know why. I guess it was because I loved him and he loved me. We were engaged to be married and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. My Mom showed up and tried to take me with her but I wouldn't go and he wouldn't let me go. Over the next few days, my Mom finally convinced me to leave him. She said that if I didn't leave him, she was cutting me off completely and would never help me with anything no matter what ever again. I couldn't risk that.
I wouldn't be where I am and who I am today without my Mother. She is an incredibly strong woman. I still think about my ex and still believe I love him but I remind myself that I am only thinking of the good times at the moment. Then the bad memories come into my head and I snap back to reality. He has still tried to contact me after all of these years and I have responded sometimes. But I won't anymore because I am so much better and deserve so much better. I refuse to risk everything I have now for him.
To those of you who are victims of domestic violence, reach out. Tell someone. Even if you are unsure if you are a victim, talk to someone. You are so much better and deserve so much better. You are strong, you can get out.
To those of you who have been victims of domestic violence, you are so incredibly strong and I am so proud of you. You should take pride in standing up for yourselves.
Domestic Violence Awareness month is next month.